BOXES

We are all born someone. 

Imagine you wake up in a room full of boxes. These boxes are labelled - “girl, daughter, child, grandchild, neighbour, classmate, student, teacher, friend, colleague, acquaintance, stranger, client, advisor, parent, a grandparent, crone… someone unknown.” 

Each box has its own set of rules; compartments called “identity” and “label”. The thing you’re supposed to be and the thing you’re supposed to do when you’re in that box. You need to jump across these boxes as the world demands you to, sometimes, even juggle multiple boxes at the same time. Imagine doing that since your first breath, imagine running all your life across these aisles of boxes, no breaks, no stop, no reflection, no self. 

That is what society has become to us. 

We have a name, gender, class, caste, religion, nationality, ethnicity, culture, allegiance assigned to us before we’re born - a status in the family, a role in society. We are set into categories or boxes of labels formulated by society across its evolution and expansion into what it is today. 

The boxes define our upbringing, morals and teachings and eventually, we turn into who we are in the way that we’ve been moulded through these principles, through these boxes. These boxes exist across all spheres and are culturally influenced by expectations of people around us. Performing our duties as the roles assigned to us for our social status in that box.

Simple social roles may cultivate cordiality and provide support among friends, respect for elders by children, guidance and encouragement by a teacher, parent or advisor, among others. 

Our “duties” especially in relation to others, is highly shaped by our “label” or stereotype in that box.  Stereotype is the idea or a conception that comes along with every label or identity. A way in which people may perceive you when you are in that box. Stereotypes are vastly inaccurate and harmful but for the sake of simplicity, they still exist. Simple gender stereotypes of women being passive, men being active, or elders bearing wisdom, youngsters being impulsive, people of certain backgrounds may behave a certain way or others may behave in a different way - all these labels affect our duties as well. 

These boxes exist for society to function smoothly with a predictable pattern and stability. It simplifies things and has preserved the order among humankind and the world that we have created. But what does it do to the humans living in it? Some people adapt to the system while others cannot. These boxes are made of metal and have no space, no flexibility, just rigidity and hard walls. Society has turned into a metal box. 

“Struggling under the burden of expectations.”

As we grow, we gain an insight into our own personalities and motivations and find our true calling which allows us to make decisions for our identity beyond the ones that have been assigned to us. Through childhood, we gain control of more aspects of our life and by adolescence and adulthood, we usually have the autonomy to decide the trajectory of our own life choices. Slowly, we start to see other people in our boxes too. People in the same boat as us. We may be happy and continue upon the path chosen for us, content in our boxes as they are or… we may divert, move across boxes, try to break down the hard walls, reach out of the boundaries of the constrainment. What happens when one disregards the system and decides to live beyond it? Think and wonder, who are you? 

“I wish to be something different, I am something more.”

We push, punch and break against the barriers, against the metal, to create dents, to expand our space. 

We are thrown outside the room, shunned, ignored, disregarded, outcasted, called a freak, an anomaly, just for being different. Every existence, every life is unique, precious and rich in its own essence. So why must we be categorised and generalised when no two of us are the same?

Why does society impose such rigidity? Why do people miss out on the lives they can live just because it is beyond the boundaries of their box? We fear the unknown, peculiarity is a strange description. We panic, turn haphazard when things go beyond organisation, beyond the planning and the system, we suddenly do not understand it and perceive it as a problem instead of a new phenomenon heralding a solution. “Shunned, ignored, disregarded, outcasted, exploited, oppressed, violated, denied!” 

Why must we prove ourselves just to be our true authentic selves? Why do we have to fight to be seen equally? To have access to equal opportunities, roles and duties. Why do we need marches and protests to be what our soul wishes for us to be instead of what the world demands us to see? 

What will happen if we all collectively decide to break these boxes? To embrace our identities, encompassing all our aspects where we do not have to choose or change shape in order to fit into the expectations of others. One wall at a time, a gradual process, tolerance, acceptance, understanding, embracing... no roles, no stereotypes, no labels, just humans. Humans weren’t made to sit in boxes. We were made to fly, glide, swim through life. To be free. Let no box hold us captive. 

It starts now. Let’s be free.

Meet the Author

Litty nerd, chaotic dreamer, curious explorer, quirky fangirl, forever amused by the world… I believe in trying out everything, even if I fail, there’s experience… for the joy of life. 

Maisha