Men in Feminism

Feminism has always been portrayed as a struggle of rights for women against men. Which, after centuries of being oppressed under a patriarchal society is quite understandable and perhaps even to be expected. But can we really expect to change anything without involving the very group whose mindset we’ve been working so hard to change? The evidence shows that when men are deliberately engaged in gender inclusion programs, 96% of organizations doing so see progress — compared to only 30% of organizations where men are not engaged. Thus showing that without the active involvement of men significant progress toward ending gender disparities is unlikely. Even so, most of the organisations go for an individualistic approach to solving gender inequities without realizing that excluding men just overlook systemic structural causes and reinforces the perception that these are women’s issues — effectively telling men they don’t need to be involved. Challenges Facing Male Allies Backlash against male allies exists. While some research has shown that men face no penalty for promoting diversity, other studies suggest that there can be a cost to acting as an ally. First, there’s the dreaded wimp penalty. New research reveals that men perceived as less self-promoting and more collaborative and power-sharing are evaluated by both men and women as less competent (and, not incidentally, less masculine). Egalitarian men can feel the backlash effects of stigma-by-association — perceived as being similar to women by advocating for them. Secondly, male allies often face criticism from the women they try to ally with. The scepticism in women results from the lack of first-hand experience of men, stemming from them being in a place of privilege for centuries. The Pedestal Effect in which men are given special treatment and shout outs for even small acts of gender equality is understandably grating for women who for years have done the emotional labour and carried the load for equality with not a man in sight. And there is always the risk that over-focusing on men in women’s events may ultimately strengthen rather than dismantle the gender hierarchy status quo. Third, there is the problem of the Fake Male Feminists. We all know at least one guy who will sling on feminism like a cape in front of people to make a good impression or to avoid being labelled as sexist despite his pattern of sexist behaviour. And then there is the sincere but utterly naïve, ill-informed man whose idea of allyship amounts to rescuing, mansplaining, or even attempting to become the spokesman for women. As Martin Luther King once reflected, shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. When aspiring male allies fail to understand the critical importance of partnering and collaborating rather than imposing their own ideas, there is a real risk that they may ultimately undermine women’s initiatives by attempting to dominate them. How Men Can Be Better Allies First, just listen! listening to women’s voices in a way that inspires trust and respect is the first and probably most important step one must take. True listening requires focus, sincerity, empathy, refusal to interrupt, and genuine valuing of both her experience and her willingness to share it with you. Respect the space. Women’s conferences and ERGs are often a collection of stories and experiences of exclusion, marginalization, and discrimination, most of them painful. These events perform the job of providing women with a powerful platform for sharing experiences, providing and asking for support, and strategizing equity initiatives. Tread respectfully into these spaces and think and re-think a thousand times before you utter a word. Remember, it’s not about you. Always ask them how you can help propagate, rather than replace or usurp existing gender parity efforts. Humility will be your greatest quality here. Years of research reveals that while women often express helpfulness communally and relationally, men show helpful intentions through action-oriented behaviours. Avoid taking the centre stage, speaking for women, or mansplaining how women should approach gender equity efforts. Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Learning about the challenges of being a woman may produce feelings of self-shame or self-blame that cause anxiety and often discourage men from getting involved. The solution is more interaction (not less), learning what has been going wrong and working together towards finding how to fix that. Call out your bros. All of us have friends and family members who casually make sexist remarks under the veil of jokes and fun. Calling out these people openly is probably one of the toughest but also one of the most important parts of being an ally Allyship is not something to be taken lightly. Committing to express as little sexism as possible in your interactions with women is the easier part. The hard part is taking informed action and then dealing with the backlash that comes with it without backing off or taking the centre stage. Male allies are an integral part of the struggle for gender equity but they are not the face of this struggle. And one must always remember this.

By:

Santosh Gidwani FYBSc (PCM) 202865