Unsung Heroes

Look around you. Do you see them? Do you realize how they’ve changed your life irrevocably? Do you remember what they’ve done for you?

In order to appreciate the unsung heroes of our life, ANAMIKA (AICUF’s women centred newsletter) asked its writers to share their story about a woman who has given their life some perspective, nudged them towards the right path and changed their life for the better. As you read these stories, we hope that you too are reminded of that unsung hero in your life. 

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination (n) The action of delaying or postponing something

I've always disliked maths. Always. Seriously, ask me to any mental addition even now, I'll just stare at your face blankly. Yet in 8th grade, I actually got 100% in the dreaded subject. Honestly, I don't think anyone was more astounded than me.
It started towards the end of 7th grade, when I got a C in maths, where on the other hand, I had As and Bs in other subjects. I approached my Maths teacher and I asked her, “Ma’am, why am I not performing well only in maths? I understand what you teach, but somehow my mind just doesn't function during the exam!” She replied,”Wynola, you have to quit procrastinating.”
I said," I have to quit pro-  pro- what?"
“Procrastination- the action of putting something off till the last minute. Maths is a subject that has to be practised daily. You can't just understand it. You keep all the practising just before the exam. Obviously your poor brain can't keep up, and it crashes like an overheated computer during the exam."
I was dumbstruck. I replied," You’re right ma'am! What should I do now?" She said, “Just do 10 sums a day the following year. You'll see the magic!”
 Honestly, at first, it was pretty hard to keep up to the '10 sums a day' rule. Old habits die hard, you know! I would sit with my book, and then daydream. A few days, I didn't even do that. Unfortunately for me, one of those days she took a surprise test. Well, all I can say about that test, was that it truly surprised me. After that, I thought, “Might as well give this thing a try.”
And Ma'am was right. It worked like magic. I was extremely surprised to the see the 100% at the end of the year. I immediately ran to my teacher and thanked her. She said, “Wynola, you don't have to thank me; it's all your hard work. Never fall prey to procrastination again!”
Many people have been great inspirations to me, but Ms. Desai is one woman who irrevocably changed me for the better. She taught me the value of hard work, time and its management. Thank you Ma'am!

Wynola Williams

FYBsc

Thy Voice Alarm, My Life

Wake up, wake up, Dear! It’s time to begin your day!

I used to hear this voice alarm 5 O’ clock every morning – summer or winter, no matter what the season might be!

Honestly I felt very disgusted at this self-propelled voice alarm; neither had I set it nor anybody else. But there was literally no escape from it.

I cannot remember when exactly this clock of wisdom started poking into my own private space. I had no freedom to decide what time I got up from bed!

Sometimes I thought to leave my house and settle in another. Till the 7^th std, I was utterly unhappy, all due to my incessant wake up call. But after that I got used to it.

I started my day right at 5 O’ clock in the morning with freehand exercises followed by light breakfast and studying.  Before I would leave for school, I would recount my routine activities and I found to my surprise that I had three hours of study, one hour of exercise and play including the usual time for food and a bath.

From 9th standard onwards, I used to carry a mobile phone wherever I went. School, classes and friends’ place, I could not part from this electronic marvel. I was, as they say, “Connected 24/7”! And at a quarter to six every evening, I invariably received a phone call enquiring my whereabouts. Another voice alarm beyond doubt!

I would settle for my studies at around 7 O’ clock in the evening and continued till midnight with a short interval for dinner at 10 and by the time I went to bed I had a total of eight hours of study to my credit.

My father had to stay away from home because of work. I had little or no access to him. On the contrary my mother had been ever vigilant with my work, never ceasing to steer me towards the right direction.  She assumed a dual role. She became my father and mother.

When my SSC result was out I had every reason to smile – I proved to be a scholar and was every neighbour’s envy getting an entry ticket to St. Xavier’s. The wonders of the voice alarm, my beloved mother!

Puraskar Chakraborty

FYBA

BECAUSE SOMETIMES ALL WE NEED IS A HUG

Being a part of an institute like Xaviers where hard work and passion is given its due importance, at times I turn nostalgic remembering the easy going and joyful school life each one of us experienced.
  I, unlike the rest of my family, hated Math. Despite the zillion efforts made, I never could like it but like every other child I had to push myself towards getting better grades.
I vividly remember the day. It was the 17th. We had our paper distribution. Rolls were being called. Legs shaking, teeth grinding…. I waited half-heartedly for my turn. The dreaded moment had finally arrived and when the professor announced ' Roll no. 96', I ran towards my paper. At a distance I could see her shaking her head in disbelief. Grabbing hold of the paper my eyes turned to see the marks. I was shocked an 8 on 20. Never had I scored this less. Logically speaking, I had passed but for me it was a failure!! My body turned cold. I wept uncontrollably. For the next half hour I was immersed in my thoughts on why I couldn’t make it. My confidence level began to take a nose dive. I began wondering if I was getting too distracted. Time flew by and it was then that professor Rachel entered. Tall with silky long hair and a purple sari tucked in was all I could see in those eyes filled with tears. Finding me crying she asked me the matter. I couldn't tell her about my failure because I feared her views about me would change. All my feeble attempts at trying to stop crying were in vain and so I left the class. Rachel ma’am followed me and asked me a simple question. What bothers you my dear? And with that, I let it all out. I expected her to scream or scold me for being careless but her arms moved forward, demanding a hug. She hugged me warmly and said, “Trusha! Failure is a part of life. So what if you scored less? Is your math professor worth your tears? Are your tears worth these small problems? Life always summons you with its problems but the way you tackle and overcome them is what matters the most. Work hard and the rest will follow. Show the world that you are a fighter.” These words seemed to contain magic. She did manage to bring back my confidence. I promised her I would work hard and I did. of course I secured good grades in the following exam but even after years of schooling, her words have stayed with me ...
  She is my inspiration, my support ,my mentor and a beautiful lady I will never forget.

Trusha Shanbhag

FYBA

WHEN INSPIRATION COMES UNEXPECTEDLY

“I have confidence in confidence alone,

Besides which you see I have confidence in me!”

True Broadway fans will not fail to recognise these lyrics sung in The Sound of Music by Maria, a young novitiate sent off from a convent to be governess to seven children. As a little girl, this was one of the films I grew up to, its songs are what I sang and hummed in absentminded daydreams. But to say that I actually applied these lyrics to my life would be perhaps not really be true.

Strange as it may seem, it took two girls from the UK to open my eyes and inspire me to be what I want to be, and consequently got me inspired from so many others who were around me, people who I never really realised were so amazing.

Let me introduce you to Carla and Christine, from England and Ireland respectively. They were here in Mumbai somewhere around August-September 2014, as part of a group of youth from various parts of UK and Australia. They were here to visit and stay with a youth group in Mumbai, GenSYS or Generation of Spirit-filled Youth in Service, a group in which I’m a member. Needless to say, I never actually met them all until a two-day retreat in Vinalaya, Andheri.

While we were there, all the youth members present interacted with each other in prayer and activity. Carla and Christine were with me in my women’s cell group and we prayed and laughed together. That was when I observed their simplicity and outlook on life despite being only 2-3 years older than me. I could see it in the way they conducted themselves, their sisterly friendship with all of us in the group. I was surprised, for their openness and friendliness with me was not what I had expected. I am awkward at best with those I’m least acquainted with, but for some reason I felt free to be myself with them. I found out that Christine and I share a lot in common, especially the fact that we both are pianists.

To write down everything they said or did would fill up page after page and so I’ll give you a gist: They were really pleased to know me, and believed that I had a lot of potential to do anything I put my mind to. I’ll never forget what they said.  “You are such an amazing woman. With your music, there’s so and deep down, I recognised that it was true.” Towards the end of the retreat, each of us were given little ‘prayer diaries.’ Mine had a special message: Jeremiah 29:11 – “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to proper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’ “

‘To Rachel,

We are so blessed to have met you and for being able to share [our] small group with you. You are a beautiful woman, inside & out. At all times keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. He will keep you comforted & protected, directed & loved. Let this book be a small reminder of the few days we spent together… we love you so much & will always keep you in our prayers.

God bless,

 your sisters,

Christine & Carla xx’

There was very little time left for their stay after that, and all of them left soon after. But the diary, its message and the memories remained. Carla, Christine and their friends gave me a friendship that spanned distances as far as the other side of the planet. That time we spent at the retreat centre stayed with me.

It wasn’t just that they inspired me, but they helped me look at myself with a lesser amount of the low self-esteem I had become so accustomed to. They inspired me to look again at those around me and be inspired by them – my mom, who takes care of two aged in-laws, a working husband and four kids, and who struggled to get me into music. She’s the reason I play the piano today. My grandma, my first music teacher, who taught me all those Konkani hymns that spurred me to sing in choirs. My younger sisters, though mostly annoying, whose sense of humour brings a smile to my face and teach me to make people smile in turn. My friends in college, GenSYS and church, who in their own way helped me build my confidence. Annalise and Xenia, two friends from the many in GenSYS and my parish, who’s beautiful voices push me to work harder on mine. Pat D’cunha, my music teacher, who stood by me and encouraged me to learn and appreciate the beauty of music. Some silly incidents with friends and not so friendly girls, which led me to write poems.

And it’s not just the women. I would be lying if I said that there haven’t been men in my life who have changed me. My dad and brother, who’s hard work and quiet support never ceases to amaze me. Moreno Alphonso, whose amazing music and violin playing inspired me to write my own songs.  Peter Maddan, my recent ABRSM examiner, whose stellar achievements, little compliments and stern instruction to train my voice in singing has pushed me to give exams for the same. Them and so many others, who inspire me every day, I thank. Ordinary people, both men and women, can inspire us all in so many ways. It took two extraordinary women from the UK to open my eyes to see that. That old, familiar nagging feeling of self-doubt continues to persist, but thanks to them I’m slowly getting there.

Christine and Carla, you inspire me to be inspired, every day.

Rachel D’Souza

SYBA

BEYOND THE WOODEN LEG

Count your blessings, name them one by one,

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done!

I was in class this one day, brooding over all the cruelties life had imposed on me. I thought about how unlucky I was and how difficult life's journey was for me. As a string of profanities ran through my head, my friend sitting beside me diverted my attention. "I feel so sorry for that girl", she said. I looked in the direction of her gaze and saw a girl belonging to my class, limp through the door. I had seen her earlier and felt sorry for her limp. I was amazed when my friend responded with the reason, "She has a wooden leg."

I was dumbstruck, shocked and speechless. How had I not noticed this before now? It was not that she just sat in a corner and never interacted with people. Having conversed with her at times, I knew she was a lively girl. And here I was thinking about life being cruel to me.

All of a sudden, I started counting my blessings- my complete body, my parents and sisters who took care of all my needs and made sure my wishes were fulfilled. I felt so small.

A thousand questions swished through my head. How dejected this girl must be about her life?  What were her feelings? How did she feel when she saw the rest of us with whole bodies? Did she compare our limbs with her wooden one? What did she think of the fact that all of us could walk without even having to give it a second thought? Did she curse her own limp? How did she feel walking on a leg she could feel was not there? What was her parent's predicament? And so on... How had I never noticed this before?

As she came back to her seat, I watched her discretely. It was not like she was slow or fell behind everyone else. She got to her seat and in a swift movement twisted something near her knee (that enabled her to fold her leg) and sat down. That's when I got my answer- she never let me notice. She never showed us that she was differently abled than all of us. She did not fall back.

After class, all the students streamed and blocked the staircase. I saw her make her way through the crowd, hands over the railing, she put her one foot in front of the other and walked keeping pace with everyone.

There was something about her that made me feel awed. The good stride with which she took life and her courage to keep up with all of us at all times and her stand to be an equal, refusing to believe that she was different in any way were things that were so commendable. I can only hope that she always finds the motivation to go on because she has and will continue to be a motivation to me.

Aprajita Srivastava

SYBsc

The Pillar of Support

A poem dedicated to My Best Friend.

A woman, tender and sensitive she might be,

But power and potential is no less a sight!

This same applies to my best friend,

The woman who makes a difference in my life!

It’s not the first bench that brought us together,

Neither the notes we miss in the absence of the other,

But the laughter that she brings on my face,

In a stiff sophisticated atmosphere in the class!

In life, when troubles behold me,

And I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown;

Her words always shoot high volts in me as she goes,

‘What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!’

Not to ignore the tides of silence that has crossed our path,

 Nor the obstacles, dead ends, worries and wrath,

It’s not only her love and support that made us stronger,

But the tightest hug that none in the world may secure!

A woman more precious than expensive jewels,

Such is my best friend Gynel;

A woman of motivation and affection,

That’s enough to lift Lazarus from the dead!

Renisha Mall

TYBA

The Forgotten Trinity

While this issue is dedicated to all the ‘Unsung Heroes’, I would love to talk about and thank these few women who have inspired me and continue to be my unsung heroes. I would call them love, hope and compassion.

1)      Miss Love- As the title suggests, yes, she is a baker and a brilliant one. How she rose to become one is an inspiring story in itself. She struggled through her teen years to break free from the atrocities she was facing at her own home. Born into a patriarchal family who always cursed and cussed her, termed her as the ‘unwanted’ one throughout, she had her own share of sorrows and toil. Once, the men in her family even tried to sell her. That is when she realized that she had to break away from this and in the process liberalized several other women living in similar conditions. She went on to pursue what she was best at.  Also, she has started cooking classes for several such unfortunate women. Miss Love, your determination and self-confidence have given me the strength to achieve what I need to without worrying about the obstacles in my path. Thank you for that! Unknown to you, you have touched my life in a major way.

2)      Miss Hope: This woman is the sole reason why I get seethe with anger every time I see someone throw a plastic wrapper on the road. She is the reason why I started the “Let’s go green campaign” in school when I was in fourth grade. She is the one who cares about all the plants like her own children.  And the best part- she is about my own age. No elder could ever inculcate in me the ‘environmental’ sense like this girl has! Growing up with her was the best that could happen and I’m so thankful to her for always being with me.

3)      Miss Compassion - A woman who is very close to me and is like a own mother to me. I have not seen a person more caring than her. A selfless and helpful woman, my faith in humanity is restored every time I hear about a new sick person whom she is ready to nurse, or anytime I look down from my building and see her feeding or nursing the street dogs. She is the kind of woman who would help you in every possible ways. Who in today’s world is that giving and that compassionate? Thank you, Miss Compassion for setting the perfect example for children like us.

It is true, there are few people in the world, so good, that the good in you is forced to ooze out. Always surround yourself with such people.  Bring out the goodness in you and be an inspiring beacon to others. The world is a small place. Take advantage of it to spread love, peace and joy. Above all, understand that you are strong. Respect all the women in your lives, be it your mother or the lady who works as a domestic help in your house. You never know when you might become the unsung hero of somebody’s life.

Leema K

FYBMS